Donny and Marie Show Fri Oct 22 1999

Note: This transcript is computer generated based on the programs closed captioning.  Any typos are the fault of the captioner.

Marie: Welcome back to the show. Now, you first fell in love with these guys as Michelle Tanner -- 

Donny: Girls.

Marie: Whatever. As Michelle Tanner on the hit series "Full Hose." And they have sold 13 million home videos, second only to Disney. That's amazing. Please welcome back to our show the multimedia moguls Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen.

It's so good to have you back here!

Donny: Where's my hugs? How you doing?

Good to see you guys. Welcome back to the show.

Marie: It's so nice to have you guys here.

Donny: All right. Ho do i tell which one is Ashley.

Marie: I know. Ashley

>> Yes.

Donny: Mary-Kate has the shorter hair.

Marie: I remember last time.

Donny: There's a rumor going around that, you know, we all know how successful you guys are -- girls, excuse me -- you still get allowances? Is that right?

>> Well, yes, but i haven't cleaned my room for a really, really long time.

>> So we haven't gotten it for a while the

Marie: Is -- i get an allowance. Is there something wrong with that?

Donny: So do you clean your room?

>> Last night.

Donny: So you got -- got your allowance, but you didn't do it.

>> No.

Marie: You guys had a big event since last time we saw you. You have to tell everybody about it.

Donny: I see a little embarrassment about it.

>> We had an on-screen kiss.

Donny: How was that?

>> Very, very embarrassing.

Donny: Come on. You liked a little bit of it, didn't you?

>> Me -- we met the guys like an hour before we had to do it.

Marie: Was it really your first kiss?

>> Mar e: So were you like pros at this before you did the movie?

>> No. We were so nervous because -- our mom was there.

>> A whole bunch of parents were there and everyone we knew was watching.

>> My mom was like oh, you look beautiful, honey, it's ok.

Marie: What did you do for the practice?

>> They did -- did it like a million times.

Donny: Ashley, were you intentionally make the mistake so you had to do it again?

>> No. No, I wasn't. It was all Mary Kate making all the mistakes.

Donny: You know we actually have a clip of the kiss.

>> [Groaning] 

Donny: Watch this.

-- from movie clip --

>> I miss -- you, funny girl

>> i miss you, too.

>> When you said the real Paris, i didn't know you meant the police headquarters.

-- end clip --

Marie: I love that. Hey, I remember my first on-screen kiss. It's tough, yeah, because everybody's watching. When you practiced did you like look in the mirror a few times to make sure --

>> no.

>> No. We had big butter flies in my stomach.

>> My knees were shaking and I felt like i was going to throw up.

Donny: You guys seem like you get along we valley. -- Well. Do you ever fight?

>> Only thing we fight about is clothes

>> Yeah. I wanted to wear the red but then she already picked it out and --

>> you got to wear the black.

Marie: Is there one of you that's the more dominant?

>> She is. Marie: Oh, really?

Donny: Mary-Kate gets her way all the time.

>>He time. Marie: So you are you kind of the leader?

>> No. Not really.

Donny: There's not a dominant?

>> Well, she likes to fight.

Donny: So there is fighting the?

>> No. Marie: I have to tell you that I took this home last night and my girls saw it and they loved it. The book is geared to teens basically.

Donny: What's the name of it? -- Marie: It's a journal a diary. Did you guys have a lot of

on what would be inside?

>> Not really.

Marie: Do you see these things before your name --

>> we saw the pictures and what they are -- they were but didn't see the finished product

Marie: Was this an idea you liked?

>> Yes. They have different colors and you can tell what you're feeling.

Marie: Because i thought that was really clever. My girls really liked it.

Donny: It's called "Mary Kate and Ashley diary". And what is the CD? "Cool Yule"?

>>Eah. "Jingle bells" is called "swingle bells" because it's like swing beat

Marie: Did you enjoy doing it?

>> Yes. A lot.

>> We only did it in four days and it's 12 songs.

Marie: Which do you like better, acting or singing?

>> Marie: Well, everybody in the audience gets a CD. And a book. That's terrific.

Donny: You know, back on the, your acting career, how many years did you guys do "full house"?

>> Like eight years.

Donny: Do you miss it?

>> Marie: Do you ever get together with anybody on the show?

>> We haven't seen a lot of people since --

>> since the wedding.

Marie: You know who was one of my favorite characters? Joey.

Joey was great. All those voices. You know what we thought we'd do today? Dave is here.

>> Donny: Dave. Get out here!

[Cheers and applause]

>> you guys, you look so beautiful. Oh, my gosh!

Donny: Its a -- it's a reunion. It's a reunion show! 

Marie: How great of you to come over.

>> Thank you so much. I'd give you a hug but --

Donny: No, just a hand shake!

Marie: And we're going to go to commercial and then Dave is going to tell us some secrets  -- about you guys. ? Don't go away. 


------------------ commercial break ----------------------------------


Marie: Great picture from "T.V. Guide." Do you remember that shoot?

>> I do. Donny: How old?

>> 4, 5. Marie: Do you remember that shoot, Dave?

>> Yeah. I think I was 12.

Marie: Yow -- now, I teased that you were going to tell us something about these girls that nobody knows.

>> When they were 2 or 3 years old i had them convinced that if they ran fast and flapped their arms, they could act ally fly. So you guys used to chase me around and I'd say no, come on, you have to see tweet, and they would be running behind me going tweet, tweet, tweet.

Donny: That's child abuse.

Marie: Did you really believe it?

>> Yeah.

Donny: You've known these girls when you were like 8 months old. When you see video of them kissing, what does that do to do -- you?

>> Does that young man why -- have a job? Is he responsible? That's what i want to know.

Marie: Do you know Dave's voices? Do you have a favorite one?

>> Popeye.

>> How embarrassing.

[Imitating Popeye.] Keeps my son entertained.

Marie: You have one child, right?

>> My son Luke, he's 8 years old.

Donny: Was your favorite voice?

>> Probably Joe Pesci right now.

I -- this guy's over here, I got the fancy table. Come on, come on, come on.

Donny: That's great. That's great. That's great.

Marie: So the CD., Does it have all the voices?

>> Have a CD Out and I had seven uncles growing up and between my father and my uncles I pulled more fingers at Christmas time than -- so I -- flatulence has always made me laugh, as you two can attest to -- so. So I finally thought I'm going to just get this out of my system so I recorded -- no, I didn't mean it that way -- so i recorded this comedy album called "blast from the pants." It's got a lot of --

Donny: Is this the guy -- guy?

>> That's my friend Mike Butters. That's his real name.

Marie: Carpenter cleavage?

>> Yeah, there's a little bit of that. So it's got a lot of sketches, songs, voices and it's really funny an sophomoric.

Donny: Is it out now?

>> It is.

Marie: Did you -- do you do this in your standup?

>> Going back to Detroit to a place called the comedy castle and i'm out doing comedy dates and corporate dates and things like that. But it's really been fun. I produced and wrote this myself. It's fun and silly and you can get one. So -- yeah.

Marie: Where can you get one?

>> To my web site, I used to do that stuff all the time so I thought that's what I'm going to name my web site. So you can go there and get this and it makes a great Christmas gift.

Donny: I'm sure it's a real gas.

Marie: Do you guys remember anything funny about him?


>> Ok. We could never get through one scene without him like cracking a joke for -- or anybody messing up.

>> I do remember one funny story and I'm not sure which of you it was. Bob Saget and i were ready to come out to the living room set on "full house" and we were holding one of you guys, probably only about a year old and we were cracking up and the stage manager started counting and we walked out and holding one of you guys and the audience was cracking up and I -- said what happened and I said, the baby pooped.

Donny: Which one?

>> I'm not sure but one of you guys filled your diaper and we had to stop.

Marie: That's funny. Well, thank you so much for being here. And good luck with the book and the C.D.. 

Donny: Go -- don't go away. Very strange animals coming up next with the bug wrangler.

------------------ commercial break ----------------------------------

Mary-Kate and Ashley decided to stay with us for this next segment.

Marie: Yeah, baby.

Donny: I hope you won't regret this.

>> Too! Donny: Last time this guy was here, this is what happened. Take a look. Oh! Oh! Ok. And this time i'm going to start out with this. Please welcome snake and bug wranger Jules Sylvester.

>> Got a grip. He likes me.

Donny: Yeah? Let's see if he likes me.

>> He will as soon as he gets around your neck.

Marie: What kind of snake is this?

>> A reticulated python.

Marie: Can this snake kill someone?

>> Absolutely but only once. Don't grab his neck, Donny.

Donny: Ok -- ok, i won't. Marie: How big is he?

>> 14 feet. These things get over 30 feet.

Marie: What does the snake eat?

>> Nage -- anything it wants at this size. Let's get this stuff on the ground.

Donny: Let me ask you a question now that the thing is off me. Could it kill me?

>> What's that? Donny: Could it kill me?

>> Yeah, it could if it gets wrapped around your neck. Marie: How do you feel with that around your neck?

>> I have big friends. Lots of big friends. Now, these guys here, this is a milk snake. They look like coral snakes but the colors are reversed.

Donny: Poisonous?

>>Well he won't bite you.

Marie: They're not slimely. It's muscle. Isn't that weird? Just don't jerk.

>> And you can hold that one. This is the snake from "the lost world" that goes down the guy's neck and the t. Rex pulls him out of the water fall.

Donny: What do they eat?

>>Rats and mice. They're cannibalistic.

>> Here you go.

Donny: Ok. What else do you have?

>> Down here probably the world's largest species of -- there we go. Got it. The largest species of toad. He's an AT&T commercial.

Donny: Look at this thing!

Marie: He's in what commercial? Yacht yacht. -- AT&T. What does the frog eat?

>>Rats and small mice. Donny, cut it out.

>> You don't want to kiss this guy.

Marie: Donny!

>> And by the way, that wet stuff, that's wee wee.

Donny: Oh, geez!

>> Ok. Moving a long here, this guy here -- don't touch him. He's deadly poisonous.

Marie: Why are you touching him?

>> He's a gila monster. He comes from Arizona. They've got a bite like a bulldog and the venom dribbles down the bottom jaw and they don't let go and it works into your flesh.

Marie: What do they kill?

>> Mostly small birds. Very innocuous until you get them worked up. Donny: --

Marie: Do they move quickly?

>> Is top speed right here. No, they do move but they come out at night in the desert when it's cooler. And they lie in the burrow.

Donny: If you see something like this, go the other way?

>> Yes. Don't touch him. They're also endangered.

Donny: And you always bring something, a good one. What is it?

>> Got the rattlesnake. Stay right here. Ok. Jut -- just take him up. He's a western diamondback rattlesnake from Arizona and Texas.

Marie: Are they quick-moving?

>> Yeah, very.

Donny: What would be the first thing you would do if you got bit by one of those?

>>Get to the hospital. He may or may not strike. He's not angry enough yet.

Marie: How do you make him angry?

>> Just be round

Marie: Sounds like a woman!

[Cheers and applause]

Donny: Oh! Oh! That's fantastic. Well, Jules, thank you so much. I won't get too close.

>>There's venom all over that, by the way. Don't lick that.

Donny: I won't. Thank you, Sylvester. And i want to mention the video. Give us the name real fast -- past

>> "Passport to Paris".

Donny: Go get it. It's great. Thank you, we'll be right back after this.



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